at mom's house it's like the world stops and stands still when I am not there. it just goes on and on and on, unmoving, growing stagnant, mold and worms creeping into the crevices and destroying a place I used to think was beautiful, because I was not there to protect it. when I return, the only thing left is decay.

at dad's house it's like the second I step out the door things halt back into motion, and race by so fast that by the time I return it is a new place with new rules, a new family with a new life. admist all the new, I am left in the dust, staggering behind them, trying to keep up and trying to ignore the fact that my family is only getting further away.

these two universes run in sync, and I can't leave one behind because I will either be forgotten or I will forget.

and I can't decide which is worse.