I could let myself die a million deaths,
But I can't make myself live a million lives.

I could dream up a billion dreams,
But I can't let myself stand before a billion souls.

I could walk thousands of steps a day,
But I can't reach you even if I walked the walk.

I could call you out in a million names,
But I can't get you to look back on me.

I could edge forward to a billion futures,
But I can't shake off the myriad pasts I'm tied under.

I could take on a thousand faces,
But I can't become the version you
Wish for
Long for
Pray for
Hope for
Cry for
Plead for
Hate for or
That you can live to love for.

When it's all said and done,
I could say I did my best.
You would say I didn't do enough.
We should think this was never enough.
You would laugh at my shedding.
I could bleed from my shedding.
My shedding should shed me off my shell.

Maybe, just maybe, I could become a thousand things, take on a million beings, and flourish in billions of ways

When I'm free of you.

© melodiousphoenix