You called it delusion
I called it hope
We fell in love for one night
The next, I broke

I asked for help
You quickly said no
Who would waste effort
On someone like me?

You called it friendship
I called it us
We never saw eye to eye
Our souls never touched

I named you my rose
You named me your sunflower
But shouldn’t I have known
They don’t belong in the same bouquet

Friends come
And friends go
You didn’t stay
I never let you go

I made you happy (I hope)
You made me anxious (I know)
How did I ever
Fall in love
So hard

I strived to be your everything
To you it was overwhelming
Now I can only hope
To fall in love half as hard
Love just as much
Be left unscarred

There are glimpses of you everywhere I go
It’s not the same for you, I know
Now I’m all devoid of hope

I play on this loop
Like a broken vinyl record
Hearing whispers through the walls

Love like hearts don’t break
I always tried
But God only knows
How many tears I’ve cried

I could tell you the entire story
Of how you ruined my life
But I lived for the highs
And at the lows I grabbed a knife

As I write this now, hospital bed cold
These new four walls
Stories I don’t want to be told.

Another failed attempt, I guess
You brought out the worst of me, I realized
But I did all I could do, I say
And for that, I don’t feel so blue

Everyone deserves to be loved
I couldn’t love you without
Being understood myself
And you never did.

I tried, you say
But you never realize my pain any day
Brush me away for someone new
Someone bold
Not so blue

I realized I’m replaceable
In some people’s eyes
It’s just dawned on me now
I feel ignorant

But they say ignorance is blissed

And for a moment
Just for a moment
I felt loved
Understood

It was worth it, I thought

Or was it?

© aura.wrote