I remember when you stared at me with no love in your soul. I begged you to please just keep me. To please let me kiss you and to work on this relationship.

You then spit the cruelest words I'd ever heard from your lips...you destroyed me.
You looked down at my swollen face and said in a disgusted tone, " Im not in love with you anymore, I am not attracted to you. I thinking about sex with other women all the time. I am not happy. There is nothing between us anymore."

...A piece of me died that that day...darkness.

My heart halted and shattered.

I let myself die so that I could be born.

I became a beast, a beast that fucked a beauty and planted roses.

I became a woman that I wanted to fuck, that I wanted to wake up next to and kiss every day.

I became a woman that I wanted to call and hear sing. I got excited to see naked and touch on.

I become the most me, and I fell in love with myself.

and when you returned, face swollen with regret. On your knees begging me to take you into my arms and forgive you.... to love you.

You said, "you were always the girl of my dreams, I just lost my way..."

I paused.

I looked at you and searched your face for feeling.

However, I felt nothing...

I smiled and said calmly, "I was a good girl, the girl of your dreams....but I woke up. and once I woke, I became the woman of my fantasies. Your approval is no longer needed."

and I left you there.



© jonniraeholliday