Do I need you?
No
Do I want you?
No

But like a virus I'm stuck with you.
I can't even watch a fucking TV show anymore without something or someone somewhere reminding me of you

Then my heart starts racing
My hands start shaking
My thoughts start crumbling
I forget what I was even doing

Then my breathing gets heavy
I don't want this
I don't need this
But like a virus you've infected me with poison toxins

I think I'd rather drink the small vial of poison and just get it over with
I drink myself to sleep every night and the majority of the time I don't even remember what I do that night

I work my ass off every single day just to keep my mind occupied till I can hit the bottle
First week you were gone all I did was try to kill off the pain

I'm still trying to kill the memories
The ones that burn inthe back of my head
The ones that show up out of nowhere
You know the ones where you smiled in them
God damn it it's happening again

Just go the fuck away
Whenever I think about what you could possibly be doing my heart stops beating and my body runs cold
My mom helps support me but the thought or the feeling of you won't leave me

If you wanna hurt me then fucking do it already because I can't stand this
You don't want me so fucking leave me
Now my thoughts are going blurry and I can't make it all just stop

Empty bottles now lie on the floor and I have my head in my hands because your still there
I can't get drunk cuz then I see you
Can't get high cuz then I feel you
I can't numb my pain cuz then I hear you

You
You need to go
You need to leave
I'm so done with everything you've put me through

Songs understand me but I put them on repeat too frequently
Just go the fuck away
Go away..


© FragmentsInTheWind