No place is feeling like home.
God I miss you so fucking much.
I am still in awe of confusion.
I fucking miss you again and again.
I fucking wish for my life to end.
A car to just crash into me soon.

I can't put you behind, can't.
All these efforts are in vain for me.
I fucking hate you and love you.
I fucking hate myself, I know.
I hate that I loved you so much.
A thief you were but was I too?

It couldn't feel so meant to be,
and still not be meant to be.
This couldn't have been fake.
I thought my life was changing.
I was a fucking dumb guy again.
Thinking I'll get out this hell.

I fucking hate you and them all.
Everyone in this fucking life.
Sometimes wanna watch it burn.
All my life, all of my memories.
Then I remember about you.
How could I burn something,
that was so innocent and pure?

What the fuck am I supposed to do?
You're not here to tell me much.
Was I a coward for letting it burn?
It fucking hurts my brain daily.
Cause I'll never know if it was right.
Never know if it would've worked.
If it could've worked in this life.

I'm fucking tired and done.
I am not gonna pretend much.
Why did loving you feel so right
and letting go felt so wrong?
Why am I crying over something,
that was never truly ours?
All I had was that dream of you.
All you had was that dream of me.

I fucking hate this life of me.
I am in a life of despair this time.
I'm just wishing I'd had you.
I'm wishing you were still here.
I loved you the most I've ever
loved anyone in this frail life.

No one will replace my mistakes.
I don't hate you, I hate how it ended.
I hate that loving you meant a change,
on all the paradigms my life had set.
It would've defied gods and laws.
But I am not superman after all.
Loving you was all I could really do.
Even when I felt it wasn't right,
I got caught in your kryptonite.

I still love you and think about you,
I'm sorry for how I know I hurt you.
This poem doesn't end on a high note,
cause our love just ended on sad keys,
after they played all the happy notes.

© dats_poetry