I don't always understand it
And it's hard for me to accept that scary thought
It's something I fear to admit
To acknowledge defeat in a battle that I've repeatedly fought

I've been confronted with confusion
A ton of questions asked by others and by myself
Things I don't have an answer for
And has been met with disbelief by me and everyone else

I've searched for an explanation
By diving into the darkness of my mind and soul
Only to get lost in its endless halls
Aimlessly walking around until my breath gets out of control

I can't describe my feelings
For my truths are not as simple as they should be
And I know the pain behind that statement
Because it has always been a normal sense of gravity for me

You could tell me that I'm wrong
Yet you've never been a witness to what my mind can show
And you could hardly change my opinion
Because those things that I believe in are still the things that I know

So when I'm tired of living
I'm not only wishing for a few days off and away
I'm literally fuelling on my doubts
Those twisted thoughts that I carry with me each and every day

Or when I tell you that I'm useless
It's not something that you need to change or deny
Because it's rooted into my brain
And I've gotten so used to it, that I've stopped wondering why
...