I’ve had to pick up every piece of myself since you left
all the memories gathering dust inside my chest right where you left them
like a car speeding through a dirt road, you ran from your feelings
and I’m somehow the one having to do all of the healing
I wish I could choose to just forget it all
because I’m making new memories now, you’re not worth it at all
I survived purely because of spite,
I’d watch your rise and fall and bathe in it with delight
the fruit never fell far from the tree
you’re just like your father, everything you never wanted to be
your words still sometimes haunt me and make me wonder if I was ever really loved by you
I’ve avoided looking at myself in mirrors for nine months now
made me feel like they shattered into a million pieces and I’m still having to look at myself
I’ve torn myself apart even more after you did, and had to build myself back up
but I’ve still been pouring from an empty cup
you don’t do these kinds of things to the people you love
I was in love with someone that I never really truly knew
you had painted my skies cherry reds and now they stayed blue
I dyed my hair blue and removed it so quick, damaging it just like my heart
I had to strip myself of reminders of you, before I crumbled and fell apart
I deleted my drawing of you, and some memories we made today
because finally after all of this time, I want every trace of you to go away
goodbye dark blue skies, but I still welcome the rain with open arms
to wash you away
-k.m.
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