Holding on to what I can
I breath deep and close my eyes
trying not to lose my sanity
to be dragged underwater.

Struggling to find peace
when mine is so far away
unable to hold
unable to see.

Deep in my soul
I feel the ache of despair
scared for an outcome
that I pray won't come.

I hide away the feelings
I don't want people to see
the loneliness, the terror
but it creeps up constantly.

Breathing in and out
I hold myself together
force myself to not cry again
to pretend I'm fine.

The days coming
where I will be free
I will find my peace
pull my world together again.

As I sit here
I cross my fingers
and pray to a God
that I'm not sure exists.

Pray to spare me
to allow me to become whole
to be able to smile again
to stop feeling lost.

Home feels so far away
like a million miles
that I am moving towards
but ill never get to.

-Ashley Raftery