there once was a girl
she believed in faires and love
zombies and unicorns
she felt everything, extreme
she loved everything, extremely
she held her momm's hand,
she loved when her mom read to her and her siblings
in their small apartment room,
she loved the color pink,
she loved getting dirty and jumping in puddles
she missed her dad
even though she is better off without him
she misses laughing without worries
she wishes she remembers her dad
eight years with her dad,
and 15 with her momma
15 with her brother
15 either her sister,
she's misses mama and papa,
her grandparents from her dads side
she misses not worrieing about if her mom has money,
or if there's enough food in the house,
or if her mom has money for food,
she misses the feeling of freedom she had when she was little
she misses not being tied down by memories
and emotions
she wants to be free
she wants to live, not just be alive
she wants her lungs to not be taint with dr7gs,
and w33d, like her daddy
she believes that she won't be like him,
she says she won't do hard core dr7gs,
like her dad,
coca8n, k3tam8n3, f3ntanyl,
she won't be like him she says
she won't be like him
I can't become him
I won't
I hope I won't
please don't let me, god,
I know it's my choice,
I know I chose what to do, and what to use
but it takes the thoughts and feelings away
it takes my desires to di3
it takes the feelings of wanting to cvt,
it waves it away
for a brief moment,
and I'm worried that as the years go on,
she'll want somthing more,
more permanent,
more...
effective,
and she's worried they will take over
she doesn't want to be her dad
but can I stop myself?
I...
don't know if I will be able to
god, please,
let me be able to

© Æ.Ю