Loneliness is closing in on me from all sides
No way out of this darkness
No escape from my own demons
My past haunts me
I am lost in the fantasy
Of how my future is gonna be
But to think that i can change anything at all is foolish,it seems
Because the world is it's own master
Trapped inside my mind,my intrusive thoughts
Telling me that I'm worthless
My voice isn't important
I shouldn't take up space
My inner child longing for simpler times
When she didn't have to watch for her parent's mood
When she did what she loved to do with passion
Unafraid,confident
Mistakes didn't stop her from trying
Now its just procrastination.

She was a procrastinator since forever
She doesn’t want to start because she knows it will be atrocious
Every word and action has to reassure her that she's loved
She fights,yells,screams,raging in her head
She cries,she blames none but herself
She tries,with all her might
But she is a mess
Telling herself to just give up
It doesn't matter anyway,to anyone
What did she do to be so undeserving of love?
Or did she have to try more to be loved?
Maybe everything will be alright if tried harder to impress
But she forgets yet again
That she doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone
Not even to herself.


© wallflower


#heartbroken #trauma
#childhood #anxiety #depression #fear #shame #tears #mentalhealth #sad