I woke up today. It was the first time in a month that I didn't reset my alarm multiple times before the absolute last minute to get to work. I am feeling undervalued at work, which makes me not want to go. But looking up new jobs is equally depressing. Even trying to apply for classes causes headaches. But as I get stronger and braver, I will inch myself out of my comfort zone and broaden my scope on life. I don't want to be a useless and unskilled person. I yearn to be a part of my community and enrich my life. It is a long way to success, but I refuse to give up. I comfort myself despite my fear of the unknown. For once the unknown becomes known, I free myself from my self-made shackles. I am me, I am the present, I must not fear the future, which is never here nor there, and I must free myself from my past that holds me back. I am aware that I am a prisoner of my own making, I must transform myself and reinforce my growth and freedom. Instead of building wings to fly, then possible fall, I ground my roots deep into the ground, building a sturdy foundation as I destroy all my insecurities. I then grow my branches, reaching up through the heavens and into the universe. My trunk is sturdy and unbowed, for I have taken the burdens of life and transmutated them into my strength and armor. The fruit I bear is the knowledge I share with others. My leaves shake in excitement as I build connections with those around me... but until then, I dress myself up for another day at work and make sure my mind is focused on making it a good day without imagining up negative thoughts of others.
© Melika.Dream