Like a toddler,
I crawled
For minutes,
I screamed.
Called my mom's name
Ma!Ma!Ma!
Help me! Ma!....he.....lp
I just couldn't scream out loud anymore

With faces of those I adore dearly
Sliding through my mind,
Could this be the end?
Could this be my destiny?
It can't be!
No it can't!

Slow as I was,
I tried to run,
Tired as I was,
I tried to fight.
But I just couldn't.

I couldn't!
I sat there like a lost puppy,
I sat there feeling worthless,
I sat there with my eyes filled with tears.
What am I going to say?

Do I keep quiet?
Do I speak out?
I don't know!
I don't know!
God,
Am I still one of your own?

Then why?
Why?why?why!
How do I heal?
My world came crushing down in seconds.

God do you even exist?
Am I questioning your love?
Yes I am,
Oh yes I am.
Everyone keeps on saying
'God is preparing you for the better'

Is this your way of preparing me?
Well God I am not prepared,
I am broken,
I am dead,
I changed,
Everything changed,
Who am I?

Do I deserve this?
Where did I go wrong?
I want answers!
Powerless as I felt,
I had to stand,
I had to be strong!

Ohh, not strong but hide my pain.
This all robbed me of the person I was,
And guess what,
I no longer recognise the boy I once was.
Life took the life out of me
And I now feel lifeless
© Thato Mangwegape