I dislike summer’s suffocating embrace
And winter’s cold grip, fearing I might freeze to death
The rainy season leaves me gloomy and heavy
Spring reminds me I’ll never bloom like a flower
Only fall like a leaf in autumn’s dry wind
Stepped on by others
Left to rot beneath the dirt.
It may sound absurd
But these shifting seasons weigh heavily
Reminding me of my miserable state
The clock ticks
Seconds to minutes
Minutes to hours
Another day, another year, decade passes
Everything shifts, yet I remain the same
Only these rotten feelings accumulate
So I wish time would halt
The sun would stop shining
And the world would cease revolving.
The ticking of the clock
Or the changing years leave me feeling empty and heavy
My misery breeds impatience
Leaving me wondering my fault
So I gaze at clouds, their beauty is mesmerizing
Trying to divert my mind
But envy consumes me
Feeling insignificant in my flesh and bones
Yearning for the simplicity of a bird’s life
Unburdened by thought and feelings, and just fly
Floating among the clouds like a weightless feather.
Finding meaning in life is energy-consuming
And takes me nowhere
So I wish to be a mayfly
Living freely for a short while, then gone without a trace
Sparing myself the torment of this existence
Life stretches endlessly, living feels futile
So I gaze at stars, wishing to shine in the sky
And sometimes I look at the ground, wishing to lie still, unfeeling
Free from the debts of existence
And a curse called life.

© shine