Solitary isn't what I expected.
Where my lips clamp shut
And my feet stop dead.
Because whatever I said yesterday.
Makes tomorrow feel worse.

Words have me petrified.
Memories have me captivated.
Their last seconds I watched.
I can't wash it away.
Sketched into a place I can't erase.

What could you a dying man ask of me.
Before he loses the strength in his grip.
Made me promise.
Even after he didn't keep his own.
The evening was so empty.
When the rumbling under my feet stood still.
The bird song didn't sound sweet.
When all I could hear was the strained screams through the cracks of my fingers.

And in the end I haven't the slightest endurance to speak.
Unable to explain what I saw because how could they understand the scenes in my head.
Why on earth did I think they'd
Really listen
When years tick by.
I know now it's a single lane road.
They tried to tell me the whole time.
But when you're young.
Anything feels possible.

But I grew up.
It was never possible.
Not now.
Not yesterday.
Not today.
Not tomorrow.

It's just a continuous ache, yes.
It'll keep me awake but,
A little loneliness won't kill me.
After all the bullets missed
And all the blades broke.
All the violence ended.
Now it's just the demons.
Laughing under the bed.
As I cry in the sheets.

-Anna

Book: ACCLIVITY series
Wattpad: foryou_collection