Dear mother,
Don't you see that I'm afraid? Can you not tell that even I wish I was better. I am just foolishly scared of dying before I can even grab a hold of my teenage years.
Don't you think I am trying? If so why is it that just when I finally and for once feel proud of my own self you have to humble me. I am far more mature than you think. Therefore, I remain quiet, I remain quiet because why would you ever care ? I desperately wish you could see in my eyes , you are beautiful. Yes you are beautiful in my eyes , you are so beautiful that I wish eyes could take pictures, but oh aren't you cruel..you are not that cruel do not get me wrong, and I do understand why you do all of this. But I am Human. You know me si well yet you don't know me at all. I am aware that you have to care of yourself which is why I don't pity myself and I stand for my own heart that is also why I tend to care of you , perhaps I try. I try but you see nothing, if I was a light in your life then you are blind. I understand why And I partially if not fully agree with you. Because even I hate me , myself And I. I am none other than the melody who plays on repeat in the back of your head , I am more than aware. Words will never be enough to make you understand, you can not read this , as I reckon you will not give a damn anyways, please please continue hating me. I deserve more than hate , use me , shoke me , I'll die with a smile knowing that at least I could've been useful to you. I do not wish , ask nor wonder anymore, I have lost the sense of it all. Why even do when death is the only faith. I am well and sane I am just conscious and fed up.
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