Motherless aches lay claim to my body;

The love pulsing in my heart, searching for signs of you;

Just like your last breathe, withering slow with falter.

My hope and joys are smothering:

"What in damned name did I do?!"

The reminders comes in waves,

screaming and echoing in the pain without her.


Cold nights, lonesome hugs without arms around me.

We shared a mother, we lost her first.

I lost you too; the one who I last felt would o' left...

My mother's passing hit me hard;
In yours, at least you made with my company..

Throbbing thoughts accompanied in the idea "..what could of been?"

Uncontrolled, wilde, and confused;
Heart shattering under pressure from my victim of aimed stability,

It's only the beginning from here, isn't it time already to let my wings spread free?


"Did I make you proud?"...I worry to myself...

"Did I show you that I could 'be an adult?'"

Ran away from you at 17,

But then created you such an embarrassing scheme;

"What's the fucking price for always just trying in being me?!"


The days are dragging on, the days don't feel alive anymore;

Tears fall.

Questions changed through the years,

(drags into months) Thinking back;

Even now, shakes me to the core;


"...Did I show you I cared enough..."

*drip...*

"...Why couldn't I have just put it aside for you..."

*..drop...drip*

"...Why did I ever have to get that fucking call..."


*SLAM*
...I drove so fast...

Not a single second goes by where there's a single wish;
I was there for your last...

*..drip..*..sniff...*.drop..*...drip..*

...But now your love written is reminding me its hopeful,

Despite the scars of one's hard times in the past...

*drip...*


All alone...

But wet tongues greeting me in the mornings,

Bolts of life bring me hope,

Guiding my mentalities of darkness away from the light;

I hope that I can be pleasing for any higher beings.

Cause certainly I've let all my family down...

Perspectives mirrored and cloudy,


Desire of darkened crimson never looked so, so good;

But you were pretty too, and just like a rose,

There lays danger within the stalks of thorned wood.


Pricked by blind grasp,

hidden deep in beauties of luscious green;

Stained red by lustfull bloodied torment.

I will likely never know the reasons behind why you were so mean...

In the end of things, all that's ever been wanted

Is for you to just understand what I meant...

But it was always my words getting so wrongly bent.


Hopefully in thought of me, were proud feelings,

near the end when you mentioned "I appreciate you;"

That when finally angels came for your heaven's sent,

Maybe, by chance, this time...

Your words of feelings to be shown are true?


© LoneWolfPoems

~Side Notes~
Dedicated to my mother Dana...
I Love you, Mom. 💕💖
(07/2021)
Dedicated [also] to my Mother [in-law], Debra...
I Love You, Mom. 💖💕
(04/2021)

Mother Roxanne; You've birthed me, and I love you too, but this is not dedicated to you ❤️
(2011)
Also not part of the dedicated, but my [ex] sweetheart Ashe;
Whom of which you're still a positive for my life, even if it's not in the way I would of preferred ✨