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LOVE BOMBER
You know what love Bombing is? Ever been a victim of love Bombing? How was the feeling? How did you deal with it? What effect did it have on you and your life??
Loving bombing is an excessive attention , affection with a goal to make the person receiving all that feel special and dependant to the person.
This one of the scariest thing, moment you can ever experience in dating life.
It happened when I was at my last,maybe Wondering why things were never right for me,why I'm always not achieving what my heart desires,this time I was losing patience in time and people. And at that very moment, my prayers were answered not knowing it was just for a short time or maybe it was a forever.At first, with all my fears and insecurities pilled up,I was hesitant...I remember my words," I love long lasting things,short lived moments sucks." This has always been my slogan and in everything I do, I'm always hoping the moments and memories I create last forever..
I always saw myself great and strong to never fall into such moments coz I always heard my friends talk about it, how it drained them, killed alot in them and some losing focus in life but this time I fell for it,I wasn't so lucky like I thought...
His words really got into me,he was everything I ever wanted and delivered the best, its like he had a copy of what the girl in me really needed but was afraid to show, he had his moves all planned out,he had answers for every negative statement I made and this made me feel better and like he deserved me.
Everything was moving smoothly ,he became a better part of me, he separated me from family,friends and things I loved doing while I was not working not in a bad way actually,but he was a good company for my days.i pictured a life with him yes I was so damn ,naive considering the fact that we had just known each other right?
Ever wondered if someone had a video of your past life,he knows what you have and haven't experienced?,what you crave for? What's your fantasy?? Well that's what I felt about him like he knew alot about me that I didn't really tell about and this made me trust even much more and knew he deserved me.
I guess he knew he had won me, and that finally I was into him and he begun falling out of love or maybe he was just satisfied he got the attention he needed or maybe his purpose in my life had already been accomplished.
Picture out now you ghosted all your friends,not willingly but it just happened and without notice you had only him so close and now you all alone, the numerous video calls, and the feeling someone cared and then Boom! It's all taken away from you.
I never talked about it but it hurt, at times I would console myself with the fact that I knew he was a busy man but..... who doesn't have at least a minute to speak to their woman? Huh! yes I said woman cause that's what I felt I was to him .I begun feeling guilty of everything, gave myself hope that I wasn't sure until when I was gonna hold on to fake hope.
I rarely talk of my feelings or fears or even what I'm going through,I try and figure out a way out myself but this time, it wasn't easy ...i was glued to his promises forever, I guess my wanting forever pinned me into this.
Denial...this my easy coming defense mechanism and as I surely rank it high, it never disappoints. I was on top of the situation as always and this time ,I blamed my fear..and as Adelle said "we have to be careful not to amplify our fears, sometimes it's not what happens that breaks us but what we fear will happen even if it doesn't end up happening even when things go well,fear will get you searching for something to worry about...Don't let fear win." And this time, I vowed not to let it win .
*To be Continued*
2022
© Olive shiku
Loving bombing is an excessive attention , affection with a goal to make the person receiving all that feel special and dependant to the person.
This one of the scariest thing, moment you can ever experience in dating life.
It happened when I was at my last,maybe Wondering why things were never right for me,why I'm always not achieving what my heart desires,this time I was losing patience in time and people. And at that very moment, my prayers were answered not knowing it was just for a short time or maybe it was a forever.At first, with all my fears and insecurities pilled up,I was hesitant...I remember my words," I love long lasting things,short lived moments sucks." This has always been my slogan and in everything I do, I'm always hoping the moments and memories I create last forever..
I always saw myself great and strong to never fall into such moments coz I always heard my friends talk about it, how it drained them, killed alot in them and some losing focus in life but this time I fell for it,I wasn't so lucky like I thought...
His words really got into me,he was everything I ever wanted and delivered the best, its like he had a copy of what the girl in me really needed but was afraid to show, he had his moves all planned out,he had answers for every negative statement I made and this made me feel better and like he deserved me.
Everything was moving smoothly ,he became a better part of me, he separated me from family,friends and things I loved doing while I was not working not in a bad way actually,but he was a good company for my days.i pictured a life with him yes I was so damn ,naive considering the fact that we had just known each other right?
Ever wondered if someone had a video of your past life,he knows what you have and haven't experienced?,what you crave for? What's your fantasy?? Well that's what I felt about him like he knew alot about me that I didn't really tell about and this made me trust even much more and knew he deserved me.
I guess he knew he had won me, and that finally I was into him and he begun falling out of love or maybe he was just satisfied he got the attention he needed or maybe his purpose in my life had already been accomplished.
Picture out now you ghosted all your friends,not willingly but it just happened and without notice you had only him so close and now you all alone, the numerous video calls, and the feeling someone cared and then Boom! It's all taken away from you.
I never talked about it but it hurt, at times I would console myself with the fact that I knew he was a busy man but..... who doesn't have at least a minute to speak to their woman? Huh! yes I said woman cause that's what I felt I was to him .I begun feeling guilty of everything, gave myself hope that I wasn't sure until when I was gonna hold on to fake hope.
I rarely talk of my feelings or fears or even what I'm going through,I try and figure out a way out myself but this time, it wasn't easy ...i was glued to his promises forever, I guess my wanting forever pinned me into this.
Denial...this my easy coming defense mechanism and as I surely rank it high, it never disappoints. I was on top of the situation as always and this time ,I blamed my fear..and as Adelle said "we have to be careful not to amplify our fears, sometimes it's not what happens that breaks us but what we fear will happen even if it doesn't end up happening even when things go well,fear will get you searching for something to worry about...Don't let fear win." And this time, I vowed not to let it win .
*To be Continued*
2022
© Olive shiku
