do you remember what happened the last years?
do you remember all the good things when you were laughing
and do you also remember your fears?
you propbably don’t remember everything, but the most things.

I don’t remember what happend the last years.
I don’t remember what people did to me
or why I cried so many tears.
I just remember where I wanted to be.

I don’t remember what my parents said to me when they were mad.
I don’t remember why I flinch when I hear something loud
or why showing feelings makes me feel bad.
I just remember that I panicked in a crowd.

I don’t remember why my arm has a bandaid.
I don’t remember why I cry when someone raises their voice at me
or why I always dissociate.
I don’t remeber what all of them wanted to see.

my memory of the last years is really blurry.
I just want to know what happened
because this isn’t really a happy furry.
all of this got my feelings damped.

I want to know why I don’t feel safe
and why I have a problem with men
or am I just not brave?
I just want my memories back again.
© lisann