Mr Extra Terrestrial

An extra-terrestrial came round for tea,
He didn’t say what he wanted,
So, I offered him some Dairylea.

I asked, what’s your name, what’s your language,
Do you want that soft cheese in a sandwich?

What’s your address, do you have a country?
Would you feel more at home hanging in my gum-tree?

Are you an only child or sixth of four?
You’ve probably already met my mother-in-law.
But the alien said nothing,
He just sat there and ate the cheese through his knees.

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An extra-terrestrial came round for tea,
He didn’t say what he wanted,
So, I offered him some Dairylea.

I asked, do you have a planet or a space station?
Or were you forced to come here due to inflation?
What’s your plans, are you here to stay?
Or are you here on holiday?

Is your motive peace, or world domination?
Either way, show some consideration.
But the alien said nothing,
He just sat there and ate the cheese through his knees.

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An extra-terrestrial came round for tea,
He didn’t say what he wanted,
So, I offered him some Dairylea.

I asked, Is your spaceship bust, or do you need another?
Have you considered break down cover?

Did you mean to come here, or are you lost?
We could install sat-nav at minimal cost.

You need only ask, I could arrange inspection,
We could fix it if it’s fuel injection.

But the alien said nothing,
He just sat there and ate the cheese through his knees.

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Mr Extra Terrestrial,
You come down here in your silver ball,
That’s bigger than the Albert Hall,
You make demands and raise eyebrows,
And then you beam up all our cows,
You say you’ll turn us all to steam,
With your giant big red laser beam.

But do you know what upsets me most?
Though it’s me you’ve chosen as your host,
If you’ve got a problem, why didn't you come to me?

@ruffedgebooks