I'm tormented by the memory,
Of the day you left my side,
It catches me, so unannounced,
I try so hard to hide.
I relive it time and time again,
But there's nothing I can change,
If I could go back and change the past,
That moment, I'd rearrange.
I know the fault, it wasn't mine,
But it plagues me to my core,
If I could relive that moment again,
I promise, I'd do so much more.
I know your days were limited,
But you had so much more to give,
But that day, you were stolen from us,
When you tried so hard to live.
That day crept up so suddenly,
That day, I wasn't prepared,
I'm sorry that I couldn't do more,
But I hope you know, I was scared.
I want to tell you one last time,
That I love you with all my heart,
And that everyday you're in my thoughts,
Even though we're now apart.
Your absence is an empty void,
It's something I can't fill,
Each day I wake up forgetting,
It still doesn't feel real.
The only solace that I have,
Is that you're no longer sad,
You missed your soulmate beyond repair,
Now you're together, for that, I'm glad.
But I can't stop carrying this guilt,
That stalks me like a ghost,
I live here in depression,
For now, I am its host.
I know you wouldn't blame me,
You'd be the first to wipe each tear,
But it hurts to know, that fateful day,
Was the last day that you'd be here.
I know you said your final goodbyes,
But it hurts that you were deceived,
I know I'm still feeling this way,
Because I haven't grieved.
But I don't want to grieve, I want you back,
Because if I grieve, it's the end,
And to me, your weren't just family,
To me, you were my friend.
I miss you more than words can say,
And punish myself each day,
And wait for that same memory,
That continues to replay.

© Violet Serenity