You act
one way.
All calm
and kind.
Then,
an hour later.
So unrefined.

You expect
apologies
straight,
from me.

When
you’re
the one…
Screaming.
Shouting,
making
scenes.

While
you insult
the people,
that i know.
You do
not care.
As you’ll
soon go.

I tell you,
in a calming tone…
“Please don’t wait.
I’m okay, alone.”
As i’m
waiting
on a lift,
right now.
“And
i’ll be alright,
once i, get home”.

No thank you.
As i do not
want to
party on.
Please, stop screaming,
in my face.
As this is not,
the time or place.

Please
understand,
i will not
follow.
But i’ll
catch up
with you,
tomorrow.
“I’m simply
going home
right now.
As i’m
feeling tired
and need
a nap.”

But the
bossy you,
wasn’t having
that!

You,
just wanted
to call
a paramedic.
but
i politely
said,
“ please forget it”.

All it
is,
when trying,
to explain…
“Are some
symptoms,
flaring up
again.”

I was very calm,
before you
came.
But now,
your giving me
head pain.
As those
anxiety levels,
have truly
risen.
Due to all
the verbal crap,
you’ve given.

In the
car park.
You continued on.
Hysterically
screaming
and shouting,
not full
of song.

It was like,
a massive
firework,
went off.
Admittedly,
your behaviour
changed.
As you
were playing
such pathetic
games.

I asked
my friend,
to “simply
drive”.
When
i saw
the devil,
in your eyes.

I could feel
my heart ,
slowly deflate.
So sad, inside.
As my tears
took shape.

And still,
you persisted with
those bizarre- like threats.
As you stood
in front,
blocking the way.
Shouting out
to all,
the car reg plate.

Eventually,
you let
us leave.
Although,
those
minutes,
felt like
hours, to me.

After your
verbal rants
and crazy games.
It’s confirmed.
You’ve truly lost
your zen- like
ways.
Your lotus flower,
had found
a way.
To kill itself,
within a day.

Then once,
my friend
and i,
get home.
I calmed
her down.
As you
shook her so.

I managed
to place,
her thoughts
elsewhere.
Before
she rang
for police,
as you’d been
so unfair.

Then
later on,
within
that night…
You stormed
straight in,
with no
invite.

As i,
just wanted
you to go.
Because,
you can
love someone.
But, dislike
them so.

You expected,
a friendly
welcome here.
A song,
a dance,
maybe a cheer.

Like a bull
facing, the
colour red.
You still
hadn’t
finished,
shouting yet.

Although
i could not
believe,
my eyes and ears.
When you
started, suddenly.
Screamimg
in my face
with tears.

Bizarrely.
You were
unaware.
Of just,
how wrong,
you were
about me,
then.

Although
i apologied,
perfusly still.
To remove
some of your
unpleasant
ill will.
In the hope,
that you
would soon
be gone.
For you’d
upset me
once again,
that night.
Not caring
how i
felt inside.

So,
in order
to get
my peace
and quiet.
I took
the blame.
to heal
some pain.

That anxious
feeling then
departed.
Leaving me,
relaxed
once more.

When reflecting on,
the days events.
The disbelief
hit me,
at my core.


(09/05/23)














































© Josephine Daniels.