I found comfort in what could've drove me to my dying bed,
When the heaviness felt unbearable,
The dark cloud couldn't leave,
Everything I touched turning to ashes,
I found myself trusting a drug to ease my pain.

Bit by bit,
I changed,
A stranger to myself,
I changed,
Recognizable?
I couldn't.

Bit by bit,
I developed pains in my body,
Painful as they were,
I found pleasure,
Was it good enough?
Felt like it.

The only option maybe?
Thought so.
On every eyes I turned to be a disappointment,
Which I was.
Yes, I am and was aware.

Same eyes which looked to the other direction when I needed them,
Left my side when I barely could stand by myself,
I found comforting in doing every wrong thing.
Was that life?

It wasn't,
I was hurting and I still am,
Lost my signature smile,
Infact, I lost the me that can never be found again,
With that, I made peace.
I am no more coming back,
I am now stuck with the strange me.

The strange me that I still have to learn to manage,
Will I be able to do it?
I doubt,
At this point,
There's nothing I am good at.
© Thato Mangwegape