I was camping on vacation in the Far East

When I was suddenly attacked by a ferocious beast

It stole my cell phone and laptop

And all things but my watch it dropped

Clearly the next step was to run

Back to civilization for things, which I had none

I was hungry, though, so I stopped for some food

And I said, to redeem myself with the patrons so prude,

“My glorious appearance glows upon thee!

Now strip your clothes too, friends, be free!”

I let the fire of my eyes shine,

And suddenly an owl appeared.

He threw off his glasses and said,

“this is all that I had, my good friend”

I look at him strangely,

he shivers with fear,

his head twists vainly,

and he vomits up beer.

“I’m quite sorry for stripping,” he says

“I’ve a bit of a hangover.” He takes off his fez.

The beer bottles lay on the floor

Empty of false emotion

His fez was askew and nobody knew

Why or when he got it.

His eyes were now dull

And face perplexed

With no clue what to do

He turned to me and said

“I’m sorry for being a little indecent

For I lost my clothes in the pool”

or at least, that’s my excuse

whenever I find myself in an awkward situation.

it’s happened a lot lately with my wife gone.

in fact it’s probably why she left in the first place.

but clothes: what’s the point?

and the pool in my hotel is just so nice and irresistible

sometimes it’s embarrassing: the pool is right below my neighbour’s window.

and she’s starting to think I’m a weirdo.

and sometimes the security guards try to kick me out until they find out I live there.

yup, life sure is embarrassing now that my wife’s gone.

I don’t need a good PR anyway, thanks Sheila

I’ll get my revenge on those guards once I possess the Infinity Gauntlet

If I only hadn’t assassinated the president of Venezuela.

Ever since the regime collapsed, and my fan-girls commandeered my house,

The economists have been unreasonably biased against me

And the subway station isn’t the best spot to catch up on lost sleep

But life goes on, and my artwork is renowned

And I treat the rest of my family like clowns

Ere long, we’ll return to the moon

And by then, all the single ladies will be a boon

But for now, I slumber alone,

My sorrow, long has grown,

I feel the soft grass beneath my feet,

as I return home, every raindrop is a treat.

Had I more time, I’d show more love,

I would bring to you long-lost moonlight,

I would breathe in steps as long as a snake,

I would bring you further than new heights.

And now, were the sun brighter,

I’d be able to travel further on broken feet.

I have lost the light to guide me

A seer that cannot see

And I cannot guide

Yet They wait for us

To regain our breath

And walk these broken lands

Night is approaching

So the sun must be destroyed

And leave a dream to die

Until they rise again

and when they rise, what then?

how shall humanity be judged?

shall it be punishment for our sins?

or reward for our virtues, however few they may be.

as we all know the mole people are unforgiving.

and their power is tremendous.

all earthly science helpless before them.

perhaps if I still had my pants, my courage would return.

but naked as I am, fear wells within me.

for nothing shall be certain when the dream lives once again.
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