I cannot change how I feel.
These old festering wounds
just refuse to heal..
Raised and red around the edges…
Hot to the touch.
Memories projected behind my eyes.
Hidden behind a curtain of flesh.
Smiles hiding the fragility inside.
No escape
from the cage of my mind.
I can feel my heart missing beats
My boots still on their way down these streets..
I shift around the puzzle pieces..
Trying to bring shape to the confusion.
I feel like something is going to give.
Change.
Strange to me.
I’ve been stuck in the ruts of this incline for years.
You don’t know me…
The shadows in my mind are dancing.
Throwing chaotic images all around.
Prisoner of time.
Anchored to decisions.
Convicted myself.
Prisoner in my own mind.
So damn hard to see through the darkness within.
Don’t even know where to begin.
The only thing you’ll ever be.
The means..
of making me bleed…
Drifting in and out of familiar places.
I’m broken.
Flawed..
I’m on my own…
Comfort in being alone..
Sentenced to remembering the faces ripped away.
Thrown away the poison that kept me numb.
One more day.
Of feeling like everything will always remain.
Grey..
The things I cannot show to the world.
Cannot hang onto these moments as they pass…
Grown cold.
Nothing lasts.
Trying to feel…
Trying to heal….
All the things that make me wish…
I wasn’t real..
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