I just want to have fun
without doing anything dumb
things that make me numb
I don't want to feel like I'm pretending to be someone else
I want to be my self
I want to know who that is
I wish
I could just take some quiz
is true happiness a myth
what's the point of doing all this
there's obviously something I've missed
it's making me pissed
I feel like all I do is exist
in an existential crisis
if you could buy happiness
I wonder what the price is
I don't want to keep struggling but
I also don't want to give up
do I let go or hang on
are all my options already gone
I'm tired of being tired
sick of being sick
I don't mean to be a dick
but do you even care
are you even listening
if so can you help tell me what it is exactly that I'm missing
I keep reminiscing about a past that did me no good
i want things to fit like they should
family and friends
but that only happens
when I play pretend
in the end
I'm just trying to figure things out
trying to write it all out
what life's all about
is it having fun or working hard
because
it's hard to have fun
when most things you can't afford
like a double edged sword
are you on board
do you get what I mean
I'm talking about things unseen
emotions
laughter
from joy
tears from a mix of your sadness
and fears
of wondering things like
why are we here.
if not to have fun
what reasons
do you have not to
probably none
but what if you'd rather be successful
living a life that's stressful
most days absolutely dreadful
so your careful not to wrestle with your worries all the time
but that just a lie
you lived
stressed out
living life in caution
that doesn't sound awesome
however
those people get to travel the world
isn't that absurd
but I guess real treasures
must be earned
I don't even know right now
somehow
I just want to have fun and be productive and successful
is that idea to mental
if you think so
I guess that's as far as you can go
I know the only limitations set
are set by me
so I'm gonna be successful
with something I enjoy doing
but let me ask you
which way of living
are you currently choosing?

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