Finally my childhood dream is full filled, The dream of being an adult.

The dream of holding on myself,
Doing whatever I want and controlling my hormones.

But is that dream really full filled? Because the little me is still a kid.

She still wants to hold her mother
when she cries
And tell her how this cruel world haunts her poor soul.
But she can't, cause isn't she an adult? Isn't she supposed to be strong?


She still wants to be carefree and enjoy life,
But the adult in her would tell her to stop.
Cause this fucking world would call it cringe.


World, people, classmates, friends.
She have to think of everyone, about what they think of her.
But what about her, isn't she one she should think of?

Checking mirror to make sure eyes don't look red,
Holding those painful sobs inside, Instead of mother's lap, crying in showers,
And at the end covering it with a fake smile.

If this is what being an adult is,
then I want to go back in my childhood.
When crying really helped, cause the pain was physical,
But now the pain increases as much as I cry,
I don't know where it hurts or where it pains,
But it hurts so bad,
so bad
that I can barely hold.

Love sucks, hormones sucks and this emotions also sucks,
But isn't this what you wanted right, to be an adult?
Now enjoy.
© htk