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insight on my life
I watch her everyday.
I see she has her own healing to do.
I hate that she can’t just be there for me as my mom.
To help guide me. Give me advice & help heal the damage within me too.
Instead I just inherite all of her brokenness.
Repeated cycles that weren’t meant for me.
Trying to break free of my own habits.
& then my brother dies thinking I said things that I never even said. because I was too upset to talk with him. I held on to it for too long.
I was upset with him for the way he fell for the government indoctrination when we were kids. I always felt he was smarter than that. he graduated at 14 years old & got his GED. was accepted but turned down multiple colleges. I never understood it. completely free rides.
as we grew older we just drifted apart.
we were twins born 4 years apart.
both of us earth signs.
I wish I could say he was my best friend.
but he wasnt.
I wish we had had a better relationship.
The demon voices Charlie fought were of all of those people who ever put him down. Those voices he fought were of everyone who ever said he wasn’t good enough. Or that he’d never be anything. Those voices. Those voices of the demons that were actually the people who said they were his friends & his “only” family. That he had no one else. That he would never have anyone else. Those people who lied to him. Didn’t help him. Made false accusations against him. That we would be better off without him.
Those people have no idea who my brother was. Or the value he held. Charlie was somebody to me. He had his real family. Charlie wasn’t the best person on earth but he sure as fuck wasn’t the worst. hell I’m not even the best person in the world but I can fuckin admit that. I do what’s right. & I treat you how you treat me. So did he. it’s how we were raised. Charlie was definitely quick to lend a helping hand for anyone in need. he would even give you the shirt off his back & the shoes on his feet if he knew you needed them.
it needs to be understood, that Charlie was trying to do & be better.
People are so quick to call names & make pretend situations.
But never truly look at how it started.
The “Just Say No” program is what started his addiction. The government did what they did. They knew what they were doing.
my brother was murdered by the system.
I just want to dismantle the establishments.
& No. We are not. Better off without him.
© Lizzy MorningStar
I see she has her own healing to do.
I hate that she can’t just be there for me as my mom.
To help guide me. Give me advice & help heal the damage within me too.
Instead I just inherite all of her brokenness.
Repeated cycles that weren’t meant for me.
Trying to break free of my own habits.
& then my brother dies thinking I said things that I never even said. because I was too upset to talk with him. I held on to it for too long.
I was upset with him for the way he fell for the government indoctrination when we were kids. I always felt he was smarter than that. he graduated at 14 years old & got his GED. was accepted but turned down multiple colleges. I never understood it. completely free rides.
as we grew older we just drifted apart.
we were twins born 4 years apart.
both of us earth signs.
I wish I could say he was my best friend.
but he wasnt.
I wish we had had a better relationship.
The demon voices Charlie fought were of all of those people who ever put him down. Those voices he fought were of everyone who ever said he wasn’t good enough. Or that he’d never be anything. Those voices. Those voices of the demons that were actually the people who said they were his friends & his “only” family. That he had no one else. That he would never have anyone else. Those people who lied to him. Didn’t help him. Made false accusations against him. That we would be better off without him.
Those people have no idea who my brother was. Or the value he held. Charlie was somebody to me. He had his real family. Charlie wasn’t the best person on earth but he sure as fuck wasn’t the worst. hell I’m not even the best person in the world but I can fuckin admit that. I do what’s right. & I treat you how you treat me. So did he. it’s how we were raised. Charlie was definitely quick to lend a helping hand for anyone in need. he would even give you the shirt off his back & the shoes on his feet if he knew you needed them.
it needs to be understood, that Charlie was trying to do & be better.
People are so quick to call names & make pretend situations.
But never truly look at how it started.
The “Just Say No” program is what started his addiction. The government did what they did. They knew what they were doing.
my brother was murdered by the system.
I just want to dismantle the establishments.
& No. We are not. Better off without him.
© Lizzy MorningStar
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