Soul ties are so strong.
Trauma bonds are so deep.
It’s so hard to walk away.
It’s so hard to untie the knot once you’ve gotten all tangled up in the deepest pit of another’s soul.
It’s so hard to break.
It’s so hard to leave.
It’s so hard to set yourself free.
It’s so hard to detach.
It’s so hard to leave the person and the situation alone.
Once you’re tied it feels like you’re bonded to the person for life.
I think this happens because we are in search of a feeling.
We are in search of the person we once met at the very beginning.
We are in search of the comfortability we felt when we first met the person we began to love.
They say love is blind.
That may be true.
Of course it’s true when your soul is tied with someone else.
Of course it’s true when you’re bonded with someone based on shared trauma, insecurities, experiences, etc.
It’s a hurting feeling when the person who once made you feel so safe, turns into the person you feel the most unsafe with.

But the connection is so strong.
It’s so strong like no other.
You’re dying to get the feeling back from when you two first met.
Despite of the arguments.
Despite all the wary nights.
Despite all the heartbreaks.
Despite the constant disrespect.
Despite the nonstop tears rolling down your cheeks.
Despite the name calling and insults.
Despite being exposed to the ugly side of this person whom you once thought was so beautiful.
You still stay.
You don’t leave.
You put up with their ugly ways, because you still see the beauty in them.

You still see the good in them.
You still see pieces of them that needs your love.
You continue to fight to love them.
They push you away.
They throw you away.
They do everything they can to run you away.
Yet you don’t budge.
You’re still searching.
Searching for that person you once loved before they turn into someone you hate.
Searching for answers.
Searching for a reason to stay.
Searching for a reason to go.
Searching for a reason to not give up.
Searching for a reason to give up.
Feeling incredibly tied to another’s soul.
Feeling incredibly bonded with someone you love who isn’t good for you.

This person is no longer good for your soul.
This person is poison.
This person is poisonous to your piece of mind.
This person is poisonous to your peace.
This person is poisonous to your heart.
This person is poisonous to your spirit.
This person is poisonous to your energy.
This person is poisonous to your love.
This person is poisonous to your mental health.
This person is poisonous to your thoughts.
This person is your emotional trigger.

So why do you stay?
Why don’t you just move on to someone else?
Why don’t you just cut this person off?
Why don’t you just walk away?
Why don’t you just let this person go?
Why don’t you just leave this situation alone?
Why don’t you just let the situation go?
Because….
Everytime the person leaves it’s like a huge piece of my heart is leaving too.
A huge piece of my heart is broken in a way it has never been broken before.

Everytime this person doesn’t talk to me it feels like I am going to lose them forever.
It’s so hard to not talk to someone who you would talk to everyday for hours and hours.
It’s hard to not hang out with someone whom you spent so much time with consistently.
It’s so hard to walk away from the person you shared so much with.
You shared your time.
You shared your energy.
You shared your pain.
You shared your deepest secrets.
You engaged in intimacy with one another.
You shared your body.
You shared your heart.
You shared a bed.

You shared a shower.
You shared car rides.
You shared your deepest fears.
You shared your deepest heartaches.
You cried in each others arms.
You shared your deepest worries.
You conquered fears together.
You made big plans together.
You shared meals together.
You shared your dreams with one another.
You helped eachother accomplish goals.
You both were present in one another’s winning and losing seasons.

You had smiles.
You had cuddles.
You had long walks together with the hand holding.
You had long talks.
You had long embraces.
You had trust exercises.
Now all you have is constant bickering.
You have shouting.
You have shoving.
You have constant disrespect.
You have nonstop disagreements and endless tears.
You have little to no respect for each other whatsoever.
So why stay?

Because you love the person?
What if that isn’t enough?
What if loving someone just isn’t enough?
So what’s the other reason?
You’ve gotten attached?
You feel like you can’t live without this person?
You can’t imagine living a life without this person, yet you’re scared of having a life with this person.
Why? because you’ve seen their ugly side and you don’t know if their ugly side would spare your heart.

So why stay?
Maybe you’re addicted to toxicity.
Maybe you’re toxic.
Maybe you don’t know how to love.
Maybe you don’t know what love is.
Maybe you think you deserve this.
Maybe you think no one else will want you.
Maybe you think you can’t find better.
Or maybe you just got yourself tied up with the wrong soul.
You got yourself tangled up with the wrong soul. -W.O.S.

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