we fight after I finally break from her leaving me alone for 4 days.

no text, no call, nothing.

"just let me go" she says, emotionless.

all of the anger from these past 2 years come back. because I spent every day and every night telling her how much I love her without any texts back.

"do you even love me anymore? because you havent even tried to be affectionate towards me for months" I say hoping she reassures me, wishing to hear her sweet soothing voice once more, it feels like an eternity since I have.

"I dont know"


I freeze.

I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I look down and pick my nail beds as my throat scratches and burns from holding in my tears


I feel stupid for loving her with every inch of my soul. just to be met with conditional love.

"just move on." she says again. her once sweet voice makes my stomach turn. the butterflies she once gave me dying through each syllable.

you know I can't. I say, I cling to those who care. I claw at those who try to leave, yet my skin is left bare. the only marks are the ones I've inflicted on myself, hoping if I saw the marks I would think someone tried for me.

so I'm left alone, falling for false hope and lies. because it's all I've ever known.

- by sleepydigital
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