Time is stretching me to it's limit,
Because the aches seem to grow
And the stillness is stiffening my bones.

I keep my hands steady and I do my best to sit upright. It's easy to smile when you want them to see you happy, but it's not easy to cry
Especially when it shows them you're fragile.

It's simpler to not talk about it,
Because when I do I wish I'd had never said anything.
I don't know why.
I never can explain anything clearly enough.
I get hindered when I leave out the most significant details.
But those details
They come and they go.
Unpredictable.
I talk myself out of speaking about them.
Because maybe then they'll go away.

The worst is the intensity.
It looks like I'm putting on a show.
But I don't want an audience.
I'd rather break down behind the curtains.
But distress doesn't always give you the chance to reach that quiet place.

Humiliated by my tears.
When I have every right to spill them over.
I just wish they weren't so familiar.
I don't feel like that someone people look forward to seeing.
I'm not sure what's true or what's not.

The fatigue and heaviness on my chest crushes my sternum.
Laying down is so safe.
It's hard to reject the temptation of welding myself to the sheets.

I'm not sad. I'm quite at peace.
My life has sunshine.
My cheeks hold laughter.
My feet can hold me up.
My legs carry me.

It's just that growing percentage of hurt that haunts me.
I'm making an effort to shake it off.
But some difficulties you can't walk away from.
It's something you need help with.
I can't peel back my skin and fix it myself.
I can't reorganize my organs.
I can't lace myself back up.
I have the surface of my skin to treat to the best if my abilities,
It's just not nearly deep enough to aid the problems.
Those untouchable surfaces.