It's amazing how it transformed from hatred, regrets to being the most dear thing in my life,
Hey little B,
Im writing this as a reminder of my love,
You weren't part of my plan,
Your presence killed the zeal in me to life-my thoughts at first,
I cried myself to sleep, took sleeping pills just to put an end to the thought of you,
Not to mention the secrets visits to hospital where your journey would be halted.

Hey little B,
Its amazing how all this is crowned with regrets,
Apologies,
Like how would I have survived this?
Who would share the nights and days with me?
With time I learnt to accept you already commenced the journey,
I learnt to appreciate all the goodies you introduced to me,
I learnt to appreciate you,
And you know what,
This absolutely the best decision I've made entirely,

I can't wait to set my eyes on the stranger that filled my life with peace,
That gave me a purpose,
That stranger who gives me kicks as a reminder of existence,
I can't wait to hold those tiny hands,
Wipe your tears if not join you in crying,
To watch you make your first crawl, your first step,
Call mummy,

Hey little B,
This our little secret, I wish I can hide you forever I can't bear it sharing you with anyone,
For you, I've become selfish,
Daddy said he's gonna beat me in bonding with you and guess what, I'm scared of losing you, of sharing you
I wonna hide you forever. Just for me

Hey little B,
Lately been imagining walking in from work to see your face, listen to your laughter, runs that will make me scared of you falling just to hug mummy.
I would write a million for you
But hey little B,
Mummy loves you so much,
Hang in there safely until it's safe for your coming.

Thank you for making me a mummy at young age,
You saved me.


A LETTER TO MY UNBORN LITTLE BLESSING.
© Olive shiku