#AloneinCrowd
As far back as I can remember,
I feel alone in a crowd & it's not getting better.
There was a stranger who pulled me in a car, shoved my head down & told me how to behave.
I was paranoid feeling guilty about my sexual behavior. Could've been the porn my aunt had me watch day after day.
I'd walk home from elementary school, wiping the tears away, just pretending to be ok.
Mom dropped me off at Bradley psych hospital at a young age.
my repressed anger made me a monster.
I was 13 years old, learning how to prostitute,
they call it party & play. Who would've thunk a 13 year old was smoking Crack cocaine.
You couldn't guess the horror I endured for the 30 years following that tragic day that pedophile took my innocence away.
There's not enough paper, but I'll make a brief list of it all.
This is so difficult to wrote down, but I hope it help clear my conscience to make sense of it all.

-gangrapes, embarrassing sexual dates, 40 facilities including hospitals , juvenile & adult prison, psychiatric facilities. graduated countless rehabs & outpatients.
Not to mention being expelled from catholic school for sexual harassment. I acted so sexual, even when I didn't want to, I did anyways. I felt I was supposed to.
Maybe the birth control implanted in my arm at 13 caused some of this acting like I had a license to blow and have sex with the neighborhood including random older men.
I'd sneak out my window at night, and...