In the end I got to be a McCall.
In the end I won.
I got your last name and a baby by you in the end.
I guess I won right?
I guess I was the winner of this game.
I guess I was the winner of our game.
Well, tell me something.
Tell me why don’t I feel like a winner?
Tell me why?
Why?
Why did I end up winning you and I still felt like a loser?
How did I win and still feel like I lost?
Tell me how?

I may have won your last name.
I may have won a baby with you.
I may have won a spot in the career I so desperately loved as a young child.
But you want to know something?
In the end, I lost my dignity.
In the end, I lost my self respect.
In the end, I lost myself.
In the end, I was responsible for you calling off your engagement with someone else.

Over what?
Over a game.
In the end, I ended up with this scar on my face permanently.
Over what?
Over a game.
In the end I won your heart back.
Over what?
Over a game.

You have made a fool of me so many times.
Taking another girl to our homecoming dance knowing I would have given anything just to be with you.
You allowed that same girl to play in my face and insult me in front of you and my date.
You practically gave me an ultimatum forcing me to choose you over curfew, just because you were having a hard time dealing with your dad cheating on your mom.
You got upset with me for choosing my passion over you that night, not understanding if I missed curfew all of my hardwork would’ve been in vain.
I would’ve been benched the whole game.

I understand you were hurting.
But what about me?
What about my hurt?
What about my cares and concerns?
They didn’t seem to matter to you Mister star basketball player.
You were the only star in your world.
I was just a speck in your eye that got in your way.
And you kicked me to the curb when I didn’t allow you to get your way.
You took another girl to Burger King.
You might have made it seem like it was no big of a deal all because you didn’t take her to some fancy five star restaurant.

A date is a date.
Be that as it may, you still went out with another girl.
A girl that wasn’t me.
You broke up with me because you didn’t know how to communicate your feelings properly.
You were upset with me for choosing my hard work and sacrifice over you for one night.
I didn’t choose you one night and you chose to throw me away.
Yet you never seem to ever choose me unless I chose you first.
You never chose me.
I was never your first choice.
I was only your choice when you had no one else.
Or when you thought I was appealing to your eye.

You constantly let me down.
I continued to be hurt by you.
I continued to be humiliated.
I continued to be your fool.
What takes the icing on the cake is we went years without talking, yet the minute I heard that you got injured during your basketball game I came running to you.
I came from across the world, putting what I had going on, on pause to be with you and make sure that you were alright.
But let’s be honest, if the shoe was on the other foot would you have done the same for me?
Probably not.
On top of that I had a random woman flashing a ring in my face telling me she was going to marry the love of my life.
And I couldn’t do anything except say “congratulations and good luck with everything.”

If that isn’t a fool, then I don’t know what is.
You played me like a game.
I was a game to you.
You scored with me, and kicked me to the curb when you had other recruiters.
When you had other girls to fangir over you.
So, yes in the end I may have won your last name.
In the end I may have won a baby by you.
To most girls of our time, I may have been considered the biggest winner of all time to be a McCall.
In reality, I felt like the biggest loser of them all.
I had to play the love of my life for his heart.

I was his hesitation.
He was my without thinking twice.
I had to play the game for love.
I had to play the game for my love.
I had to be a fool for love.
I had to be a fool in order to win the game.
I was just a fool in love.
A fool in love with a guy that enjoyed playing the game. -W.O.S.


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