Out in the flowery gallery of my balcony,
as I open my heart to the gentle breeze of September,
feeling my fingers caress on roses
shining so delicately of all, I remember.
The clouds shape-shifting prowess emulates memories, so sugary,
as the glimpse of puberty inside peeps out of me so eagerly.
The scent of lavenders and the ladders I have to scale,
ignites about an burst of tensed laziness as
my eyes open wide to a nightmarish day tale.
I look down as the chimes tintinnabulates in nature's euphoric airstreams, a red carriage of modern sorts, slowly parks in on my daydream.
A man in his 40s, comes out of it, living like someone from a movie,
seeing his daughter out in really dramatic fashion slowly.
I look at her, a tall girl steps out wearing dresses not so fancy,
but my eyes do not seem to blink as the breeze swirls her hair dancing,
I wonder if my neighbour's are expecting guests,
little did I know that this girl was my heart's conquest.


It was not a love at first sight, my pragmatic heart
peached lessons on looks,
but the sweetness in my soul longed for a soul like in the old books.
She doesn't look like the one of your dreams,
but her soul reflected like the Sun in clear streams.
She was a soul who loved to only be a person of wisdom,
I, my naive soul yearned for her to be my kingdom.
I wanted to see her everyday, even when my heart waged,
a loving battle that had not been won even by ancient sages.
As someone who did not know what to live for,
I heeded to the heartbeats that my love will be at fore.
She was compassionate inside but compressed and much broken to express it,
her eyes had patches and contained tears I wanted to suppress,
she was a gem in the wide spread dirty world, a rare empress.
The dark plague engulfs my heart with thoughts of rejection,
but my soul was already in eternal subjugation.


Years and months passed away like days,
I still was not making the love hays.
The rare smile, she conjures up in her little pink lips,
innately synchronizes my soul and makes my heart slip,
a smile that could contain more than the Universe in its glory.
Yet, my tiny heart could never get in without being sorry.
My heart knows that, bog her down,
only will I as she was a zealous healer,
a mystery and a free spirit within her own World, a delicate loner.
The reality knocks harder, I can fall on my knees and take her in,
but the sweetness that she was sowing in this world
will cease, a terrible sin.
I will let her go, killing my soul, to roam as a ghoul of the past,
even this day haunts me memories of the girl I lost in haste,
little do I remember those days now, yet her soul
remains in my breath,
as a epitome of the glorious strength I had when I let her go, striving me forward, enclosed inside my heart's sheath.
© Josh D

____
this one is a dedication to my first love.

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