I Wish You Knew

I wish you really did love me the way you said you did in the beginning because you would be here right now instead of someone else's bed.

I wish you could see me for the person i am now and not for the woman that you believe me to be all those years ago.

I wish you feeling the beating of my heart every time your close. The burn of my skin where your hand have been. The taste of your skin after i have kissed you to let you know where i have been.

I wish you could hear my heart and how it falls apart when we are arguing and you leave me alone. Then how it sings such a beautiful song when you tell me how much you love me.

I wish that you still did all of these things because they are all my favorite memories. My pillow is now stained with tears and my heart feels as though she will die. I no longer can feel your warmth of your touch. The taste of you has faded away. The woman that I have became is soulful and wondering why and what she has done again. She believed in love one more time and decided to try it on one more time.

I wish you could see the tears that roll down my face and the fear and heartbreak that she can't get out of her head. She can hear all the ugly things you said reverberating in her head. Bouncing around as she tries so desperately to meet all of your needs and forget she exists at all.

I wish you could hear the voices and constant laughter at her failure that she has listen for years. They tell her shes not good enough, she is not pretty or smart enough. She will never amount to anything and no man will ever honor anything to her. Why? Because to them she has always been not enough, a failure, and just get out of here.

I wish you could understand that you have her hope and then you took off with her heart down the street while she was still broken and barely healing. Now, all the things you tell her are stuck on repeat, you mece change the storyline, there's no apologies, just your shadow and your memories...


© Rhonda Broker