I haven't been watching movies seriously for a very long time and I am only now starting to experiment some recommended by friend !
Ive been thinking about how I am drawn to the same themes in books, films & music again and again: a flood of longing and the way it often never resolves at all.
Desire and where it flows!
Desire and the ugly and triumphant way it shapes you!
When I was a kid, I had this boombox that got broken and some tape got stuck in it so it only used to play one song on repeat!
For a long time whenever I felt heartbroken! All i thought about was whether I'd be like a stuck record going over the same song again and again and again forever!
I didn't realise how much I took for granted the choked intensity of what I felt. Now looking back, I realize suffering is what allows us to experience and understand joy! it makes room for grace!
You can't have one without the other on this earth! It humbles you!
I am trying to accept that to live with pain as much as I can! Because pain is what sets the upper bound in all the ways that matter! Depression, Exhaustion, loss of belief, fear and Anger!
I want to operate unencumbered by those things,! If you are okay with the presence of pain, if you don't fear it, you can manage it! There is a line I read "You will Live, But it will hurt very much!"
And sometimes it just seems crazy that you were ever worried in the first place!
I wrote this about a while ago but I resonate with it now much more!