there’s a deep hole inside of my chest
I reach in to grab my rapid beating heart
but it doesn’t rest
I toss and turn and some days I can’t get out of bed
ever since I heard the news that you are dead
I keep digging and digging to find the truth
you want me to rest, but I say what’s the use?
I can’t after knowing what these people did to you
I’d walk to the ends of the world just to honor you
I carry you in my heart
yet I wonder how it is still beating
I keep trying to find the deeper meaning
the world keeps trying to sweep me away
but I know you’d want me to stay
so I live to fight through another day
things feel like they are getting heavier
and my shoulders can’t bear much more
my pain is crippling, an inevitable collapse
the truth is I’m so tired
and you’re supposed to be here
yet I’m having to go into another year, without you here
I have to make myself go to bed, I am filled with dread
and I keep replaying the words you said in my head
I’ll close my eyes, and drift off to sleep, hoping to see you in my dreams
goodnight my angel boy, I can’t wait to see you again
love, me
-k.m.
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