Talking
Isn't my really my strong suit
I tend to keep what I think
As to avoid any type of conflict

And during those times
I have always thought to myself
That my voice won't matter

Because even if I'm high above the sky
Or six feet below with my dad -- hehe
Or simply standing in front of you
My voice wouldn't be heard at all

Yet eventually
I realized I've been talking back quite a lot
To argue with someone or to correct them
It feels nice but it strangles me

The after math of every moment
Wherein I spoke my thoughts and emotions
In a mature or immature way

It strangles me as it pulls me down deep into the ocean
As the light slowly fades
And I am stuck battling with that one voice in my head that I hate so much

The voice that hates me as much as I hate it
Always reminding me of my past mistakes
Forcing me to reminisce those times
Just to make me hate myself
And to remember to never speak again

As it speaks to me
I'd try to speak up
But...

---

Chest tightens in a claustrophobic manner
Lips tremble like a landslide
Tears overflow filling the oceans more
Nostrils clog as if I'm stuck in a cave
Breathing shakes like a series of earthquakes
Body sweats like rain on a stormy day

---

But...
I'm reminded
That I can't...

Maybe...
Not to it...

The only voice that I could never talk back to
Was the voice that I created with my own mind
That not even my thoughts could destroy

And because of that
I allow it to overtake my ship
As it leads me to a tidal wave
Swallowing me whole
Along with the passengers

...

I suppose
If I can overcome this voice
Maybe then I won't be overwhelmed

Until then...


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