It was no longer what was left of you that simply counted.
You had been systematically leaving me from the onset.
It pains me to think that it had taken me years...
A startling amount of years to realize that it was what was left of me that mattered.

You had only but to crook your pinky to force me into the role of outwardly respecting you no matter what and come-what-may.
And, after countless ages of your public humiliation and inhumane treatment, it all-but-broke me.
Nonetheless, what remained was my new-found sense of self-respect.
And, to your total shock-and-awe, I began to thrive.

After dark, devastating eons, of your mind-numbing games, my first concern was no longer your worth.
I was no longer giddily esteemed merely to be in your self-perceived omniscient presence.
Numerous daily mantras had enabled me to realize my self-worth.
My interests were then pinpoint and focused on reconstructing my self-esteem.

I had utterly lost invaluable years undergoing your hideous ridicule, all of which was unwittingly seized by my shredded heart.
I had spilled countless tears as your bitter words stung my scourged ears.
Remarkably, your perpetual sluice of bitterness formulated a mindset that served me well in the end.
For, it had finally deadened my ears and totally morphed into self-defense.

I no longer felt the endlessly vast drain of my sense of self.
Gone were the shackles that chained my mind to self-doubt.
My former self, scorched away and the capacity for self-love arose from my ashes.
I was not merely able to "amount to something" and was then in possession of a philosophy of wondrous and unfathomable "somethings".


d. nelson 10/013/2020
©dawnykins59
©GiGi60