there's space in my chest
a lump in my throat

I wouldn't know what the feeling was if I was asked

but it feels alot like a void, like pain that just pricks underneath my skin, so tiny that I barely feel anything till all of a sudden it's a gapping hole and I'm spilling all over the ground and trying so hard not to spill all over other people

sometimes I think I'm numb,
or just good at pushing things aside
gazing for half a second and turning away as if it meant nothing even though it literally kills me inside

keeping it all in, how hurt sad and alone I feel

sometimes I think I'm okay

sometimes I smile so wide nothing could possibly be wrong

but I know, deep down underneath...