Siblings...
Siblings are my reason to wake up
I could disappear for weeks or months even
They wouldn't cause any stirrups

But sometimes I forget, they weren't born my siblings
I actually don't know if they're gonna stay
Always have people in your life until they feel like fleeing
I've blindly trusted many and would give my life for them... I know cliche

But people always leave
And I always think it's my fault
I'm closed off and pretty boring, I believe.
Especially when I'm going through a lot, it starts winning and I'm at a halt

I bury myself in my head, for I refuse to weigh them with my problems
It's not that they wouldn't be there for me,
I'm just used to the repression and then laying on the sarcasm

And trust me I know, it's not healthy
Growing up, I've always been the listener
As for my issues, I'd get through them, just barely
Or I thought I was, but really I pushed it aside, it was my issue so didn't matter
Even if I fought or spoke I never would've got closure

But all my old "siblings" were honestly too wrapped up in their own messes
And I was always more concerned for them than me
They were all more about distractions than confessions
And suddenly they start asking questions after years because they care... allegedly.

Okay maybe they do it's just my mind with tricks
But now more, out of the blue, you wanna hear my every emotion
Forgive me if I don't trust it, history tells me this is legit suspicious
But it's my family, even the ones whose behaviour makes me sick

They proved me right, my intuition never fails me.
I'll still feel the way I do even if they don't agree
I will take my hunches more seriously
Start protecting myself more fiercely

You may be tired,
Battered...
But don't ignore the blizzard.

As for the siblings that don't quit on me no matter how much my personality urges
Sometimes I feel guilty,
And all these feelings emerges
But the ones who stay make me feel less unworthy
I didn't forget when some left it raining heavily
I learned my lesson,but still, I wake up with them on my mind because siblings you love eternally...

© JPS2719