military home...

lock in a box with a rock on top... not knowing how you got in this...


looking for a way out..


the peace is not around the corner.....

so many directions to go....


plan b or plan a...
so many decisions....


you want a good life...

but deep inside you know you don't

deserve it....


hating yourself to decay....

the Lost black wolf.... lost inside the shadow road....


not knowing who the trust....

that's why you got yourself a knife ....

to kill the snake slithering in the grass...


paranoia has you scared


losing your freedom once again...


that's why you hate sirens


because your past is hunting you...


you can feel it getting closer each day....


I don't blame you....


a world full of lunatics but you are the main truth....



you would isolate yourself again....


just to keep the ones you love safe...


but you do not want to give up.....



people like you but they have no idea who you truly are.....



trying to keep the monster in vain trying.....


you captured him once..


but you can feel him trying to escape....


getting ready to end it all but you know it's going to be a long fall.....


that is why you try to avoid heights....


you think you have a friend but you know they always leave like all the rest


your life is cloudy in blue


you try show the people the real you but they drown you out just like Jason that's why you stay quiet.....


suicide notepad inside the headphones life is to God damn complicated that's why you drink you are loved by people don't forget that

you have a heart... dear Russ....



this is my letter.....

to a friend
lord lovel









© Lord lovel