Life is an untamed cascade,
riddled with unsettling disruptions that birth a heap of embryonic deaths.
Something else flickers inside like a mischievous flame,
The restlessness of one’s incipient insanity possesses an
uncanny strength,
A craving fueled by an abstract realm
of feigning intelligence.
It is this disturbing trace of deleterious influence that breaks through the complacency of our world.
So, it’s my goal to attain an uncontaminated realization outside of such an intended purpose.

Since I've developed into an adult from adolescence,
from less than half to halfway-educated,
that has been my purpose ever since.
Having been captivated for countless years,
Countless portraits evaded and repelled,
leaving me unable to articulate the sheer magnificence
I once beheld.
Although my eyes fluttered open,
I was not capable of seeing clearly because of the sheer veil.

My dawning on this place was not solely attributed to sheer determination and will,
On that particular day,
Well, at least not my own will, anyway.
I came into this world enclosing one solemn attribute,
a tenacious spirit,
To which seemed natural to Adhere.
As I showed my face to this vast realm of existence,
Roaring with all resistance,
Blood painted my entrance in an interwoven tapestry of crimson hues.
While a Child's heart yearns at what his golden-brown eyes view,
even to this day, one’s flesh rues.
I wish not to die in the wallows of my own blood in such a recognizable way,
So, I felt the need to acquire several necessary virtues.


If I had followed my own path,
I would have already received death bearing the cost,
Still, the true essence of my identity would remain lost.

If I had followed my own path,
I'd for sure have shattered to pieces
all I'd relentlessly portrayed,
Still, the true essence of my identity
would remain mislaid.

If I had followed my own path,
I'd undoubtedly gone the wrong way,
Still, the destination
I’d found myself in would be the wrong place.

Even if I select from an artesian aquifer wellspring
for something natural to create,
whatever I chose would be good, just not great,
And you’d come to see, so would what I made.

Where would pure essence come from,
What is that untainted essence meant to be?
I'm sure it's not privy to the secret griefs,
wild and unknown, like me.
It has to be something unsought because
Sought-out desires lie in power, not in the affair of pain,
I seek to track down its peaceful delight,
not its soothing tranquility.
I become conceited in vain,
searching for its Divine knowledge
rather than its secret willpower to understand.
I intend to obtain control over it,
not for it to exert control over me,
but rather to wield autocratic authority
over everyone else- that I see.
My objective is not to assume the position of subordination
but rather to assume that of mastery.

In its place, shall I continue to seek to manipulate, exploit, and deceive;
In place of being
sincere, disciplined, truthful, and innocent
in the same place,
I am too, and I too must leave.

I'd gotten blessed with a life meant to live.
So I shall,
yet, in doing so, one day I'll die.
I hold the power to shape my destiny,
for it appears that I have fated only to meet my demise.
One’s embryonic death
leads to many more stillborn lives,
Lies that provide a compelling explanation
with obvious evidence of a phenomenon
in this world’s design.

The closer I look,
the more I see written in flame and blood
the words of an age-old decree
that each of us tries to be all that we have seen
or will see,
to embody the best of all we've accumulated
and the worst of what we perceived.
Humanity has come a long way,
Withal,
That influence yields little,
As it brings a significant toll
on the generations after we leave.

What would I see,
If I had followed a different path,
Would it lead me to the true essence of my identity,
Who would I be?

This path that he’s on grounds me to be
more adventurous, much bolder,
at times more alone, but much more than ever,
I'm free.
There are times during this journey
when one finds shade,
then he finds needed rest under a tree,
In such times, his dreaded loss and potential gains divert into a stable peace.
Still and all,
I arise and get back to the undoing of what this world is doing to me,
believing that I must live before I'm deceased.
My closed mind opens exactly where silence used to be.
Where everything shimmered, no weapon formed could prosper or take the light out of me.
If all I did was take one step or even a teensy leap,
the light that prevails in the Spirit and causes me to breathe will eventually get seen.

Indeed, I wished GOD held us all closer,
I hope soon He awakes from His dream.
The pictures reflect an interest in the impermanent, transient nature of the world,
Therefore,
we accept life and death as a vessel rowing gently on this ephemeral stream.
Still, I believe in what GOD did and how GOD is living- shall reign supreme!

Unbinding stone-hearted women and men
to say that love works this way:
Sympathizing, forgiving, reasoning, uplifting, freeing, redeeming, calling, and gathering
To prop what the LORD had made in his image out in the open like the easel,
that it is, To dab its blood on everything.
It enables us all, as one, to experience a much fuller enactment that marks the coming-of-age.
As the old saying goes,
GOD moves in mysterious ways.

What were we before we came into this sphere?
What will we be when we leave after all the wear and tear?
I try not to overthink the affair,
knowing it's coming back and I'll get there.
I try my best to be perfectly imperfect right now and right here.




Jonah 2:1-10 ESV




© Tristian L.F. Ford