Consistent...

That's what I like most about you.
It's just never-ending, and so calming that it brings tranquility and freedom to my heart.

Sometimes it makes me wonder how you handle yourself so well, this pose of elegance and confidence about you that breathes life to the person that you are. It makes me marvel, how in the world did you end up deciding to love me?

I can't even stay to save a fraction of sanity. I don't trust myself enough to decide what I want. Hack, I'm not even as trustworthy as I seem, not strong as I look, and not weird as I sound.

I make promises that I break,
And I have this bad habit of doing things last minute.

I cry when it hurts, and I pretend that I'm okay when I'm anything but. I don't like being pressured, but I supposedly do well under it.

And I have this love.

This kind of love that seems to fade.
A love that could be there today, and it could evaporate into thin air the very next morn.

This kind of love causes anxiety to the soul, it's makes my hands tremble, my heart beat faster, and its the kind of love that makes me rethink all the choices I' be made when my mind wandered into yours.

I love you with my heart, your constant voice that soothes the broken parts in me, and your dimpled smile that caresses my cheeks like a warm summers day, you are a place I wanna call home.

But I gosh I'm scared. Scared of loving you, yet losing you at the same time.

It scares me to death, yet, I can't stop loving you dear human. I can't stop loving this person who annoys me half the time I find myself blushing for no apparent reason.

You have made me this weird person. Who's first thought is you when I wake up, the first name I think of when I pray, the only one I think of when cute boys surround me, and the one person who enjoys my weird stories from work.

And when night falls into the horizon, the only heartbeat I wanna match when my eyes close into a different land. You have an euphoria to you. A kind of utopia I can't explain, and I don't wanna lose that.

I don't want to lose a part of myself that has ignited this adventurous side of me that only lives through you. I want to build this sand castle that will not be washed away by the seven seas, and not destroyed by the raging storms. I don't even want mother earth's precious element to think it can have a say.

But I am scared. Scared that our sanctuary is not strong enough to hold because of my wavering love.

So I pray, pray to the heavens that they pour a kind of love that is watered by the springs of Eden itself, and I hope that God, as he has seen, heals parts in me that I dare not talk about.

And when all is fair in love and war, I hope I choose to only fight for you in the love I have.

I want to pour every part of me into you until there is nothing distinguishing us but smiles in between, and a gender that can never be changed.

I want to be where you are. In soul, body, and mind, even when we miles apart. Think your thoughts, and let every picture-perfect mirage be you.

So hold me close when it gets to much for me to bare, cheer for me to continue when all I think of is giving up, look at me like I'll always matter, because I can promise this, you willl never find another dim like this to marry.

Love me, cherish me, and protect me always, I'm not that strong sometimes.

Black_Phoenix
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