You were a mystery to me.
Cool boys would never take the bus with girls like me,
cool boys would never walk to the next station,
instead of flashing their parent's money and taking a taxi home....
but u....
u stood in the bus, right next to me,
playing vocabulary riddles....and wriggling your ears.
In your eyes, I forgot myself.
and made you king of all the cool boys.

....I liked you.
But I was a teen.
I probably must have liked everyboy who had ever talked me then.
I was a teen.
You have no idea how grown up it felt to be sixteen then,
and how childish it feels now.
I loved you,...
and you didn't break my heart.
You didn't disappoint.
You didn't reject me.
I did.

I ....rejected ME.

I knew I was gonna regret it.
The chance would never come again.
I won't ever see a cute boy smiling down at me and playing vocabulary riddles in a bus....
a boy walking with me on the road,
and standing and waiting for me
when i fell behind,
a boylooking out for me in the class.
I knew that....and yet I walked away anyway.
I guess I had guts.

I liked you.
hell_ I loved you.
and leaving without the slightest attempt to find ways to see you next...