Someone asked me the same stupid question.

Yes I was raped

Exactly seven months and two days ago.

So it was, but nine months or two minutes is not the same thing.
It's not the same thing but this happened.

Then why is it still happening in my head?
Every time I close my eyes.

Every time I hear someone behind me I don't know who it is,
Who is it most irresistable,

How is it I get this almost irresistable urge to kill anyone who happens to touch me? unexpectedly.

Tell me?!!!

How do I forgive or forget something that keeps happening in my head over and over!!

How do I do that?

I just want to sleep, yeah.

Comma will be nice or amnesia Or anything To get rid of these thoughts And this response in my head f***!!!

Did he rape my head too???

I was told all things I shouldn't have done.
That,

I shouldn't have gone to the police station late.

I shouldn't have taken a shower.

I, I shouldn't have gotten rid of the clothes that I was wearing.

I shouldn't have gone to that house party.

I shouldn't have drunk alcohol yet I was 100% sober.

I shouldn't have left the door open.

If only I had an instinct then None of
this would have happened.

If only I shouldn't have been born None of this would have happened.

Why didn't I think of that?!!!

My therapist told me that my rape was not my fault, that I should feel no shame.
But as easy as it sounds, I didn't cost it.

No one causes rape but the rapist!!
No one causes rape but the rapist!! No one causes rape but the rapist!!!!

And that is pretty recorded that I didn't cause rape but the rapist did.
I just want to live.
I want my life back.
My, my, my, My emotions and feelings seem dead right now, but I still have the desire to live.
I have the desire to live.
I have!!!

Serah (Sky).
© Serah Kaluba