U may see me in some way. Or not see me at all. But I am the truth. And pain and disarray of believing in others and sacrificing me has led me to this dead end. I don't know when it'll all begin for the man. Or who nowadays is worthy of all that I am. I just give and that's all I understand, everyone desires someone unconditionally and with nothing in demand, and I've found myself for those I seek, care for and cherish making that stance, but I haven't found one that deserve, nor cherishes who I am, nothing is nothing for me in a world of deception and people that lives their lives under the conditions of "Im trying" and "I hope I can," them statements will never be in my plans, I know my heart. I know the strength of who I am. I know I fail me by offering off top a helping hand, but love is what I seek, I seek a love that is best seller novel worthy, I seek all that I'm willing to work to give, I'm not perfect, I have flaws that have molded me who I am, it's in the walk I live and given me the will to also live, but there is nothing I want chance or change for the one I desire or yearn for, you dig?

I know in this life there's no guarantees but death, taxes, and there really is no betweens, but I've grown to reach for all I seek, to never think small, but go for the bigger things I dream, I've spent to many years engulfed in misery, being forced to believe I'll never be anything, and I'm not worthy of nothing, including the mandatories in this life, love, safety and basic parenting, all I am today, what u may admire, find impressive, or adore about me, I myself achieved, no parental guidance, no mentoring, or catering was teached, it was the survivor in me, the fear, the anger, that kept me safe daily, death has been chasing me for years, or right beside me, I've just had the will to elude it, or been blessed by God with survival instincts to compete, for some reason I'm still here, for some reason I am one of millions from them streets just like me, that still has a chance to succeed, or a chance to make the necessary changes I need, or to show I'm more than all perceive, I hate it at times, I hate that It feels like I'll NEVER be happy, every relationship that I collect or add to me, without it leading to my martial dreams, makes me more deplete, more apprehensive to believe I'll successfully find my Queen, there's nothing I'd rather do than to love and be loved everlastingly, I'll give All, I'll give everything, I'll never again in this life breathe for me, or hold onto any of my past negativities, I'll foundly be safe and at peace, until then depths of anguish and despair controls my being, doubt replaces belief, and everyday I'm alive without what I need, I grow closer to a horrific ending, because I'll never stop giving the best of me, so that I may receive the same things, and if it's the death of me, that's fine, cause I've always had one fear that continues to be, "I'll never have real love in me, and I'll die alone and angry."

© StanSteel63rd ⁴/²²/²¹

© By,Stan Steel63rd