i present the trophy to the most unreliable daughter
who moves as a feather - swiftly and effortlessly as she is allowed
i make promises because i want to be loved
i promise to come because i want to be loved
i promise to be on my best behaviour because i want to be loved
i weave these fairytales in your mind of me getting better
and create a hell of a good performance... until the execution
my mind is warped to turn against me
and my body is simply a follower of the mind
so when my mind whispers, "no, let's not do this, I'm tired"
my entire body flatlines and releasing myself from this nocturnal tomb becomes damn near impossible
i am a prisoner of my mind and my body is the warden
so i apologise for my unreliability, i do not mean to nor do i share joy over it
i am as much disappointed in myself as you are in my foibles
i can't resurrect perfection in your daughter
no matter the countless nights i spend wishing i could.
© Judith Mallya