Daddy's Little Girl ~Is all I ever wanted to be.....Even threw all the painful situations he created for us....
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The devil in the flesh... and I this little girl who would literally give up her left arm just to be Daddy's lil girl...And have him once again sober............
We witnessed terrible things and have everlasting broken hearted memories....The mans in our life's only job was to protect us and make us happy...........
He brought us here, we didn't ask.... So why don't he treat us like our dad....Spend time and makes us laugh....instead of cry....Don't break promises and show us all the bad things the world has to offer.....Didn't you know .... You are the one, that's supposed to be our protector....Guard us from all your past mistakes and life's disasters................
If you dad also had a horrible childhood, then why wouldn't you want better for your children.... You went threw pain and then turned to us lil innocent kids and still descided to take sooo much of our hearts with no regrets.....I can never understand this.............
As silent tears fall from my devisated face...No hugs and I love you's..No it's ok...No daddy gots you... Nothing.....
There were more times then not we had no warm heat...and Durning cold nights...Heat makes a world of difference..Let me tell you from experience......Also when we had light and water and gas at the same time it seemed like we won the lottery because it wasn't a necessity....It was a luxury....In the hood, if you have food in your fridge for a week then you ballin...Most had to go to the corner church for handouts ...and emergency aids......
My dad could easily become a dark monster full of rage and hate ~ fully capable of destroying anyone in eye sight....And I just would sit there ~ even more helpless then the life I've been living....Not one word would leave my body....I froze up with fear everytime I was getting cussed out...As a lil girl ~ I would always get thrown the Blame for his mistakes...My life a reaccuring nightmare...I could never awake from...
Heartless is the man I call dad.....Another destroyed day to add to my destroyed childhood....Itll all add up and as I grow ~ it'll take years to try n heal myself... Its going to be a long hard difficult road....This I know......
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((free flow ~ a lil free write)))
© SabrinaMarie